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Riot Grrl

[ website | A tired heart's elegy ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(12 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

.. [21 Aug 2008|08:45pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Boo.

(4 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

I'll stop neglecting LJ soon.. I swear.. [21 Nov 2005|09:12am]
[ mood | cold ]

So, you can completely disregard my last post. Nothing ever happened to Nile, the whole thing was a joke.. a not so funny joke.. but a joke nonetheless. This past weekend was fun as hell. Friday Face, Nile, Brett, Dez, James, and I were all going down to the Troc to see Blaze.. but shit fell through. More or less everything that could have possibly gone wrong with our plans did. It sucked, we blame Taylor for everything. We all ended up going to Face's and hanging out all night. Most of us crashed there too. Saturday was Aunt Wendy's birthday party. Nile came along with me. It was all right, everyone was pretty trashed. Then last night Nile and I hung out at Aunt Wendy and Uncle Kenny's for a bit before going back over to his house. I got all weird once we got back to his place cause he had a note saying that he needed to meet with his probation officer. I really hope that everything goes well. The last thing that I want is for Nile to get locked up. It'll suck so bad. I don't like not being able to see him whenever I want. Plus, I hang out with him just about every day. It'll fuck up my jaunt.

(1 Confession | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Let me put you on the game.. [04 Nov 2005|07:26am]
[ mood | crushed ]

I got an e-mail this morning from Nile's little sister Jordin. Apparently Nile hit Mike over the head with that god damn wooden cat and then stabbed him a bunch of times. Obviously he's been arrested and there's talk that he was going to be charged with attempted manslaughter. Jordin said that there was a bump trial and that he's facing 5 to 7 years with the possibility of parole. That fuckin' sucks.. :C

(1 Confession | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Psychobabblebullshit.. [08 Oct 2005|07:04pm]
[ mood | confused ]

Some much shit has gone down since I last updated this journal.. entirely too much to catch up with.. so for the time being it's all going to be bypassed. I've been hanging out with Nile and Brett a lot lately. (Nile and Brett are the two new guys that I work with.) Brett and I went to Zern's yesterday looking for lip rings, and then we went back to my house and chilled with Face and Mira for a while. Anyway.. while we were at Zern's we stopped in to see Brett's girlfriend Jen who works at the cigarette shop. I finally got introduced to her and what not. Today I called work to find out when I go in tomorrow.. (all the roads into Redner's from my house are flooded and I couldn't come in today...).. and Melissa starts asking me about Brett and I "hooking up". Then she said that Nile told her that a whole shit load of people are telling Jen that Brett and I were all over each other. So, I talked to Nile and I asked for Jen's number. I called her and cleared everything up. I really wanted to explain to her that nothing was going on between Brett and I. I mean.. fuck.. she's pregnant and the last thing that she needs is any added stress. It's pretty fucked up that random people are talking all sorts of shit, though. I guess you'll have this. Jen took down my number and she asked if it would be kewl if all of us hung out sometime, of course I said okay. She seems like a sweet girl, it sucks that she got the wrong impression of me. I'm glad that everything is fixed, though. Damn.. and I thought the club had too much drama...

(2 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

The damage is done.. all I can say now is I'm sorry.. [04 Oct 2005|12:42am]
[ mood | disappointedwithmyself ]

I know there's someone out there who can understand, and who's feeling the same way as me. I'm twenty-four and I've got everything to live for, but I know now that it wasn't meant to be. 'Cause all has been lost and all has been won and there's nothing left for us to save, but now I know that I don't want to be alone today. So if you find that you've been feeling just the same. Call me now it's alright. It's just the end of the world. You need a friend in the world. 'Cause you can't hide. So call and I'll get right back. If your intentions are pure. I'm seeking a friend for the end of the world.

(7 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Wake me up when September ends.. [26 Aug 2005|01:17pm]
[ mood | Eeeeek!! ]

The summer is almost over. I knew it was going to fly by because I was too busy waiting around for Jared's visit and my birthday to come. Both are over now. Like I said in MYSPACE.. now all I have left to do is sit around and count the days till Halloween.

(5 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

[19 Jul 2005|02:02am]
[ mood | foryouidbleedmyselfdry ]

Baby, baby, I'd get down on my knees for you. If you would only love me like you used to do, yeah. We had a love... a love... a love you don't find everyday. So don't... don't... don't... don't let it slip away.

(15 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Die motherfucker, Die!! [17 Jul 2005|12:42pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I hate my job, and I firmly believe that if I don't get out of Redner's soon it will ruin my life seeing as how it's all ready stolen my soul and robbed me of all things fun..

(3 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

The seasons don't fear the reaper.. [09 Jul 2005|02:43pm]
[ mood | blank ]

I really feel like I never should have gotten up today. Everything just seems to be off. I'm still a bit stuck in a rut. Things just sort of blow right now. Once one aspect of my life starts to get better another one completely craps out. It's a vicious cycle. Maybe you're right.. maybe I'm neurotic or paranoid.. I just wanna stop hurting.

(2 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Sad state of affairs.. [09 Jul 2005|02:15pm]
[ mood | crushedlonelybrokenhurt ]

Each night I feel the distance that has grown between us open up as lonely as the space between the stars. I wish that I could find a way to smash my fist right through these walls of ugliness and emptiness and gently touch your face. But every time that I touch you.. you feel so far away.

(10 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

No sleep till Brooklyn.. [06 Jul 2005|11:40am]
No matter how much sleep I get, it never feels like enough. Motherhumpin' hell..

(8 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

What the fox? [29 Jun 2005|12:12pm]
[ mood | fuckin' foxes ]

Foxes.. no matter where I end up in my car I see at least one god damn fox. It's kewl and all because foxes are kewl.. but what the hell does that mean? I'm seriously being stalked by foxes. I see at least three foxes a week. I'm convinced they're after me..

(2 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

[28 Jun 2005|06:41pm]
When you feel all alone and a loyal friend is hard to find you're caught in a one way street with the monsters in your head. When hopes and dreams are far away and you feel like you can't face the day let me be the one you call. If you jump I'll break your fall. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn. You're not alone. 'Cause there has always been heartache and pain and when it's over you'll breathe again. You'll breath again. When you feel all alone and the world has turned its back on you. Give me a moment please to tame your wild, wild heart. Let me be the one you call. If you jump I'll break your fall. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn. You're not alone..

(2 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

I poured my heart out. . . [22 Jun 2005|01:30am]
[ mood | just fuckin' done ]

What I've kept with me. . and what I've thrown away. . and where the hell I've ended up on this glary random day. Were the things I've really cared about just left along the way for being too pent up and proud? Woke up way too late feeling hungover and old, and the sun was shining bright and I walked barefoot down the road. Started thinking about my old man. Want to get into a car and go anywhere. Here I stand, sad and free. I can't cry, I can't see what I've done. God, what have I done. Don't you know I'm numb, man? I can't feel a thing at all. Now it's all smiles and business these days. I'm indifferent to the loss. I have faith that there's a soul somewhere that's leading me around. I wonder if she knows which way is up and which is down. I poured my heart out. I poured my heart out. It evaporated ... see? Blind man at a canyon's edge of a panoramic scene. Or maybe I'm a kite that's flying high and random, dangling a string. Or slumped over in a vacant room, head on a stranger's knee. I'm sure back home they think I've lost my mind.

(13 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

[10 Jun 2005|03:52am]
I dropped my cell phone into a glass of wine. I am a complete asshole.. that's all..

(5 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Burned out... [06 Jun 2005|12:53pm]
[ mood | burnt out ]

Lately I've just been pretty sick of everything. I'm tired of working. I don't get paid nearly enough to let people speak to me the way they do. So, there's a shit load of frustration that just sort of hangs around. Then there's all sorts of stuff that I wish I had the balls to say to people that I know I'll never actually say.. and that just adds to the pile. I'm just tired of everything. I think I'm gonna disappear for a bit.

(11 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

Team America.. FUCK YEAH!! [01 Jun 2005|06:44pm]
[ mood | crappy ]

Are you hott? by evildj23
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(15 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

[28 May 2005|11:58am]
[ mood | drained ]

So, I guess I let a lot of people down by not being a round these past few.. I don't even know how long it's been. I don't know what to say.. I'd say sorry.. but I'm assuming that won't help. I don't hate anyone.. contrary to popular belief.. besides things were going on just swimmingly without me. Swimmingly is a fun word. Feh, it just seems like no matter what I do anymore.. someone is getting pissed off. I can only take so much before I just fuckin' give up. Right now I'm pretty damn spent..

(6 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

[28 May 2005|11:36am]
[ mood | ImissJared ]

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song. If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud, and I know that you'll use them, however you want to. But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable, and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. No one can find the rewind button now. Sing it if you understand.. and breathe, just breathe. Woah breathe, just breathe...

(6 Confessions | Forgive me Father, for I have sinned)

End of the line.. [20 May 2005|07:18pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

So, I had originally posted this long ass sob story.. but I don't want to be a drama queen anymore. Instead, I'll go all out emo and post some song lyrics..

How many times have you been pushed around? Was anybody there? Does anybody care? How many time have your friends let you down? Was anybody there? Did anybody stare? How many time have your friends let you down? Just open up your heart, just open up your mind. How many times has your faith slipped away? Well, is anybody safe? Does anybody pray? Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we're alive. Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we'll survive. How many days have you just slept away? Is everybody high? Is everyone afraid? How many times have you wished you were strong? Have they ever seen your heart? Have they ever seen your pain? Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we're alive. Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we'll survive. She gets high. She gets lost. She gets drowned by the cost twice a day, every week, all her life. She gets high. She gets lost. She gets drowned by the cost twice a day, every week, all her life. Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we're alive. Oh, Life is waiting for you. It's all messed up, but we'll survive. All messed up, but we'll survive...

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